I love watching the show, Say Yes to the Dress. I love seeing all the happy brides-to-be try on all those lovely dresses, and some times I actually get a little teary-eyed. When I got married I had the honor of wearing my mother’s beautiful gown that she had worn many years before. It had beautiful beading and a long full skirt…I looked just like a princess. Only problem is, I’ve never been much of a princess kind of girl…I never dressed up like a princess as a child, and I never pictured my prince coming along to save me. To be totally honest…just between you and me…I always wanted to skip the whole princess thing and just be Queen. Princesses, of course, are more beautiful and youthful…but when the Queen says “Jump,” you say “How high” or off with your head.
And as Queen, here are a few of the things I would insist on:
- No more clam shell, blown-plastic packaging. There is nothing I hate more than to buy something at the store, get into the car and I can’t get the damn package open. I always end up with cuts on my hands and a bad attitude by the time I finally get the package open. I’ve never really understood the logic of this package….maybe it is so we can have a feeling of celebration once we get to the item inside;
- No more unripe fruit in fruit bowls and fruit cups. If the fruit is not ready, don’t put it in the cup;
- Give me what I ordered at the drive-thru window. I don’t want to find out after I have driven away that you didn’t give me what I ordered…if you give me an extra hamburger…well that’s okay, but don’t forget my french fries after I have had the kids crawling around on the floor in the back of the car finding enough nickels, dimes, pennies and quarters to pay for those fries; and lastly…
- I know it’s only 11 items, but if you are in the express lane that say 10 items only, that means 10 items or less. ‘Cause as soon as you let someone by with 11, then it becomes 12, and then 13 and before you know it, it’s 20….you know, the slippery slope? Now if you have 15 cans of liver flavored cat food, and 5 items of something else…well that’s debatable. And I can promise you, if you think you are being stealth about that 11th or 12th item…the people behind you, they know…they can count too and they know.
And that is what I, Queen Kara, proclaim.
And with that I say, “Off with your head.” How fun would that be!!!