Monthly Archives: September 2012

I love you…no I hate you…no I love you…no I hate you…………..

“I don’t see how an article of clothing can be indecent.  A person, yes”  ~Robert
A. Heinlein

The other day I posted on Facebook, “I have this love/hate relationship with body shapers, and honestly right now I don’t know if I’m loving or hating.”  And one of my friends responded….”sounds like good material for a blog.”  So here it is…..

Okay, first a little history…what are body shapers.    When I speak of body shapers, I am talking about the uber tight undergarments we wear under our clothes to give us a smooth, blemish free, muffin top free look.  And for better or for worse, it appears that body shapers have become a necessary part of our daily lives.  Okay, I’ll back track here…a necessary part of our daily lives for those of us that desire a smooth, blemish free, muffin top free look…  For me, rather than shoving my expanding assets into a tight fighting body shaper on a daily basis, I normally will cover up with loose-fitting tunics and leggings.  But…on those days when more than loose tunics and leggings are required, I will squirm my way into one of these tight-fitting garments and bitch about it the rest of the day.  Now, as much as I hate to wear body shapers…I don’t think I could live without them.  They do help me mask that extra 5 or 10 pounds…however, once I get over 10 pounds, I can pretty much forget the masking and try for a little damage control. 

So now lets discuss this love/hate relationship.  My love…the ability to still manage to fit into some of my favorite clothes, and look “okay” in them. My hate…I just basically hate them…they are unyielding, they are controlling, and incredibly restrictive…kinda like some of the men I have dated.  But…they do make me look good…not necessarily like some of the men I have dated.   And again,  backtracking, …let’s not really say “good,” maybe just better.  But should I bitch…is it fair of me to bitch?  Sure…why not bitch….while at the same time looking absolutely fabulous because I’m wearing my body shaper.    

Now I could tell you this revolution…this body shaping revolution is just another attack on women…however,  body shapers are made for men too, so we can all look buff together. 

So do I love them or hate them….a little bit of both.  What about you, love them or hate them????? 

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Take me back to the ball game….

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”  Erma Bombeck

When I was younger…much, my dad used to play softball.  He would play in a summer league and I have some wonderful memories…not so much about the games, but the smell of the parks, running around the bleachers, and the best part…after the games, on those beautiful summer nights, we would go to the root beer stand for a frosty mug of root beer, or go the watermelon stand for cool slices of watermelon.  I always looked forward to those nights.   60505381.thb

Soooooo…you would think when my son wanted to play tee-ball I would have been excited…not so.  I dreaded those t-ball years….I figured we would put in our obligatory year or two of t-ball and little league and then move on to the next thing that captured my little guy’s attention.  But…….when I saw those precious little 5 year olds in their precious little uniforms with their precious little tee-ball bats, I was hooked…but not nearly as hooked as my little tee-ball player. 

Now, 7 years later I always look forward to the beginning of little league baseball season…I still love the smell of the park, but I don’t run around on the bleachers as much…and I pay a lot more attention to the games since my little humans are playing…always hoping they get a good hit, and are not the last batter and potentially the last out in a very close championship game, holding my breath when a pop-up is hit their way in the outfield, and praying they jump out of the way in time if a line drive goes straight down the middle when they are pitching.  But you know the real reason I love little league baseball…it doesn’t change.  34818653.thm  You can go to practically any little league park today, and it’s like stepping into a Norman Rockwell picture…it’s nostalgic.  The uniforms the players wear are the same, the banners affixed to the outfield fences are still there cheering on the players or promoting a local restaurant,  and you can get hot dogs, peanuts and bubble gum in the concession booth.  One local field actually has a short order cook that makes some of the best hamburgers in town.  And the kids that play…so many of them dream about becoming the next A-Rod, Jeter, Pujols… and still, Ruth, Berra, Mantle, Jackson.  These dreams that these players of today have are no different from the dreams the little league players of the 1940’s, 1950’s, 1960’s had.  These dreams are pure, and in the world today, that’s refreshing.  116601077822710463_00UcGJJ7_c

So now on game day, I once again look forward to the game.  I look forward to munching on some bubble gum, watching my guys play ball, chatting with the other ball moms…but most of all, I look forward to sneaking back to a simpler place, if only for a little while.  ball park

And with that I say, “Play Ball!!!”

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I can’t see clearly now….

Rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams”  Ann Landers

Okay, so I say this a lot these days…”Getting old sucks!!!”    And it does, kind of.  I do think  many of the clichés and sayings about age are true, “With age comes wisdom,” “Youth is wasted on the young.”  I mean it would amazing to be 20 years old and have the knowledge that comes with 50 years of life’s experiences.  But that’s not how it works…  7706223.thb   And, to a certain extent I have embraced aging…after all these many years I am going to “love” my gray hair (maybe)…and I am not ready to, nor do a think I ever will (but I will never say never) be ready for surgery, injections or any thing like that to make me look like an older young version of myself…if that makes any sense.  I’ve earned these wrinkles on my face…along with the stretch marks on my belly…and when I look at these war scars I can proudly say, “Damn, I look old.”   But although I have embraced it, that does not mean that I’m prepared to go down without a fight.     I’ve started to live a healthier lifestyle including drinking more wine….they say wine has health benefits.  And it seems as if, when we get older, there are certain correlative events that go on…for instance…often as our hair lightens up, our complexion does as well…complimenting one another in a profoundly beautiful way.  But this is what has me so confused…as we age, our metabolism slows down while our willpower completely abandons us; our trips to the bathroom become more urgent while we start to move much slower; and our eye sight becomes worse, necessitating glasses, while at the same time our memory begins to fade, making it difficult to remember where we put our glasses.  And as far as I’m concerned, if I can’t see, I might as well eat a cookie.

So yeah, I think getting old sucks…and I was especially thinking that I was driving to the store tonight to buy the three pack of reading glasses for $14.99.  Does getting old beat the alternative…you bet!!!

And with that I say…”Damn…I forgot what I was going to say!!!”

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